Wednesday, May 30

It's not really about the scissors.

I've been really cranky lately. I've been feeling like a big green grouch. So cranky and grouchy in fact that the last time Tim asked me where the scissors were, I snapped back, "Where are they usually?" (sorry Tim). At first I chalked it up to PMS, but I can only do that for so long, and then I have to start figuring out what is really going on. A few days ago I woke up and noticed that during the night I've been doing something similar to chewing on my cheek, there are holes on the insides where my teeth meet. Then, later that day I noticed that I drive around with my teeth clenched, and I have to actively remind myself to relax them. I think this move it affecting me more than I care to admit.

This is not usually how I am about things. Yes, I like order, and I like plans but I could always get by without them. I can ignore the fact that we have a huge piano to get from the dining room to the truck that will be parked on the street (if they can even get it onto our dead end street it's going to be so freaking big) and both doorways have about five steps down and the movers who got the piano in here backed the truck right up to the porch and put their ramp out and rolled the piano into the house. I was always ok without very important plans to solve problems like these in advance. But now my teeth are constantly clenched, i chew on my cheek at night and I snap at my husband about where the scissors are (I would just like to mention here that it is [or at least i thought it was] common knowledge in our household that if you can't find the scissors, you go look in Eden's room. She usually has the tape and the string, too). Anyway, we are so on schedule. Tim has even geeked our move out by (brace yourselves) cataloging each box, entering it's L, W and H into a little gadget that tells us how many cubic inches we have packed. It's pretty cool. and organized. But still- I can't really eat because I feel like my stomach is turned inside out all the time.

So today I decided to not deal with this anxiety yet again by hanging out with a baby and a new mom. Dita, Miles and I had a really great day eating lunch and trying to check out the new show at the Albany Center Galleries. It was closed, but we got a few good peeks in. The show includes works by my uncle, Robert Gullie, my dear friend (and roommate from college) Laura Glazer, and Chris Stain who is a brilliant graffiti artist. It felt pretty cool walking towards the building and seeing larger than life images of Laura's birds. It was also really great to hang out with Dita and Miles. I've forgotten about the rhythmic life of an infant- The eat, sleep, hang, eat, sleep hang of a baby puts a lot of things in perspective and brought me back to thinking about things in the moment while I am there. So today I will stack and put away the CD's that are in our way while walking to the kitchen and tomorrow I will worry about tomorrow.

5 comments:

Annika said...

I wish I could help. I will unpack with you!

nell said...

See, you're really all set - Annika will help you unpack and I will help you pack! Viola!

nell said...

Or maybe I can also come and help you unpack...

Andrea said...

ok, so this is what I am thinking (beside how lucky you two make me feel) unpack in the day and then we take advantage of the pool and bar in the eve! (Annika, did i mention those two perks of the house? You and the boys have a permanent invitation. Nell, this means you've committed yourself to coming for the unpacking!)

Lauren 02143! said...

the teeth thing - its called 'stress'. and its exactly what I was doing for 6 months during the campaign.

oh - and you said 'my dear friend' just like bumma always used to say - hehe....