When I wrote the title of this post, I was sitting on the front porch of the Inn at Silver Bay on a rocking chair, it was just about sunset. Those of you who know what I am talking about know that there are very few things better than that.
Then my power ran out.
Now I am sitting on a couch in the lobby of the Inn, surrounded by teenagers. They are introducing their virtual friends on the computer to the friends on the couch. The boys are trying to figure out which of the friends like them. The girls are craftily maneuvering the conversation so they don't have to answer. Silver Bay never changes (the same set of you would know this, too).
Point is, I have so much to say, but, so little time here, on the couch, when i would rather be rocking, or visiting the ice cream parlor, or playing games. Also, so many distractions. People I haven't talked to in so long, emails to catch up on, and blogs to read so i can say that i know what is going on in my friends lives.
A few thoughts then...
The part that hurt the most of this four week extravaganza, was on week number two, Tim was away and after I thought Eamon was asleep, I heard him call from the top of Nell's stairs. I went to him and stood on the bottom watching him yell "i want to go HOOOOME, I want to go HOOOOME" to me, with tears flooding his face. I had nothing to say to him. It would be two more weeks before he saw anything familiar. I thought he was doing ok. I was so wrong and it broke my heart.
Mostly, while I was in Town (meaning mostly between Pittsfield and Averill Park) I tried not to drive to Albany more than I had to. I thought I would see everyone there once again. The thought of so many long goodbyes are killing me and I am (suprized by myself when I feel like) trying to avoid them.
I still weep when I hear "California Stars". It is clear i am trying to torture myself because I listened to Wilco the whole way up.
I saw a Grey Fox here!
I have a feeling I won' be back to Albany as much as I thought. Maybe Averill Park, maybe Pittsfield, maybe Boston, but right now I'm thinking, not so much Albany. This is all a part of the evolution. We will clear out the last few things that belong to us Saturday, and after that, I will be less attached to the house than I thought I would when this plan went into affect. I am having a hard time letting go. I am being stubborn about other things. I'll keep you updated about how those things are going because right now, it's ugly.
I have fun pictures of us all at archery! It's my favorite thing here a Silver Bay right now (pictures sooon!) I love the thwap of the arrow on the paper. I love when mine hits the yellow. I love my inner Legolas.
I will leave you with that thought, my inner Legolas.
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2 comments:
Oh, I am so sad for Eamon. Such a big change is so hard. And when he gets home it will be a strange house with all his things in boxes. But his room? Is the best one in the house. And the playroom is already full of toys that Sam test-drove for him.
Oh honey, I know. I know these past few weeks have been hard for you and for Eamon and Eden (and probably Tim, but since he's been elsewhere...) You're almost done. Soon you can focus on settling in and organizing and everything will calm down. You can smooth the wrinkle out and Eamon and Eden and you will all make new friends (plus Annika and Will and Sam, of course) and everything will be okay.
I also wanted to say that I'm really sorry I was cranky while you were here, it was not you at all, it was these stupid hormones... they're stupid, I hate them, they're so stupid...
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